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Wednesday, October 23, 2002
More on the synergy between the problem of energy production/energy independence and lyposuction:

I heard a report on CBS radio this morning that women who have power assisted lyposuction suffer a very interesting side effect. Their breasts get enlarged. Ain't that a shame? There is a study to be released tomorrow with those results. They think that the fragments of fat cells left by power assisted lyposuction (PAL, now there is an appropriate acronym) cause a hormonal reaction.

Now, my more faithful readers (both of them) will recall that about a month ago I severely reprimanded Cap'n Clueless for overlooking our national treasure house of fat as an the obvious source of animal fat for biodiesel. I'd love to link you to that post (September 26), but my archives are screwed up and I don't have time to figure out what's wrong. (I think I did something to my template during the week of September 15 that Blogger doesn't like, but I'll be damned if I can figure it out.)

Anyway, now my plan to have a nationwide chain of lyposuction clinics harvest animal fat from the patriotic couch potatoes of the nation for the purpose of converting that fat to energy just got even more attractive.

Women of America, your patriotic duty requires that you get fat and undergo lyposuction. Your men will just have to live with the resulting breast enhancements. Reduced fat, better health, lower medical insurance premiums, energy independence AND bigger boobs, all in one swell foop. What more could you ask for?

There's an email campaign in that for an enterprising soul, I'm sure.

By the way, there’s no word on whether males undergoing PAL obtain the same result, so my advice to men is that they should stick to manual lyposuction until the data is in. Hey, real men don't need power assisted steering, so why should they need power assisted lyposuction?
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